Ahh... Adversity.
Perhaps it was that shot at Karma last week. Perhaps Chuck Norris concentrated his nefarious powers on my training regimen. I should know better than to taunt Walker Texas Delta Force. Perhaps I'm flying too close to the sun these days. Perhaps it was just one too many non sequiturs. The gods are fickle- they don't like to be confused.
Whatever the case, one of my few reliable joints has developed an irritable demeanor. I'm not terribly surprised- I've got a history. Now might be a good time to recount my injury litany for the less informed. In semi-chronological order:
Osgood-Schlatter Syndrome (good name for a mediocre punk band): Knee disorder that caused pain in my early athletic career, surfaced at the onset of football in 6th grade
Left ankle sprain: @ Hawken, high school sophomore
Right ankle break: Wrestling at Ledgemont, high school sophomore. Still tells me when it's going to rain.
Chronic "stingers"- Pinched nerve in my neck causing numbness and pain down my left arm whenever I took an awkward hit to the head in football; first surfaced junior year @ Mercyhurst, eventually prompted the end of my inauspicious college football career; neck remains stiff
(that's what she said?... Hm. Feel free to boo.)
Mild left shoulder separation- @ Columbia, junior year. Still pops out every once in awhile.
Right knee tendinitis- it's always been annoyed that I'm a two-legged creature
Lower back pain- everyone gets this... Right?
Concussion- Freshman @ Princeton, forced me to wear a bubble helmet for weeks afterward prompting ridicule from the practice tapes. As if my giant orange head weren't already a little out-of-scale.
Torn cartilage, left rib cage- Sparring 2006
Broken nose- Thanks, Petrov
Side stitches- Cramping in my right side, on and off since mid 2007, mostly while running on treadmills
Shin splints- recur only when I'm wearing crappy shoes
From the above, I had deduced that I basically can rely on my right shoulder and my left knee. I see two ways to analyze that data: either A) they're invincible, or B) it's only a matter of time. Up until this point, I'd been leaning toward invincible, in a reverse-Achilles sort of way: I can be killed in lots of different ways, except via the right shoulder or left knee.
Based upon recent events, I can now say with confidence that if any part of me is invincible, it is definitely NOT my left knee, leaving only my right shoulder as an effective bullet-catcher. Unfortunately, it doesn't get to run this marathon.
The Intertubes tell me it's probably just runner's knee. Since I think I'm wearing the correct shoes, I'm going to guess that the likely cause is that I nearly always run in the same direction through the park, so the road is most often tilting slightly left. The solution? Run the other way, dummy.
I will say that I wouldn't be writing about this if I thought it a minor setback; the stabbing pain digging into my patella while exiting Roosevelt Island left an impression. I, of course, remain undeterred, but unbridled enthusiasm has been tempered by a steaming pile of reality. Can you hear the sizzle?
Last week's statistics:
Monday: Rest
Tuesday: 6.5 miles
Wednesday: Rest, 5 beers w/ Petrov
Thursday: 7.0 Miles
Friday: Rest
Saturday: 13 run + 6 walk, maybe 10 drinks during OSU-USC and afterwards (damn you and your shots, Ari...)
Sunday: Rest
(channelling the reader:) Wait... What happened Saturday again? Other than the pounding delivered by the USC Rubbers?
(re-entering my being:) Well, you see...
I got it into my head I wanted to run to Roosevelt Island. I thought it semi-likely that there would be a pedestrian entrance via the Queensboro Bridge. (Inexplicably, not the case.) Luckily, I had planned for this eventuality, and mapped the extended trip through Queens that would land me on the 2-mile-long island in the East River.Just as I was finishing my loop around what may be the nicest run in the city, my knee decided to bark. I managed to continue off and on until back over the Queensboro Bridge, but by then.. I was still 5 miles from home. With stupidly no cash or a MetroCard. Fun walk back, I'll tell you what. I got back in time to make the second half of the football game, and things just kept getting better.
Tally:
26.5 miles run
15 drinks consumed
Win? I suppose. But not without cost. Bald Bull will pay for his insolence...
Overall record: 6-3
"Roddy! Who's our next contestant?"
It's...
Piston Honda II!!
Yes, I know. This is getting tiresome. Believe me- I'm tired. 6 1/2 more weeks. Stick with me- more to come...
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