"Your punch is soft...just like your heart!"

Greetings friends! It's another action-packed issue of MM2K8INGNYCMTB. As if I hadn't run out enough gimmickry so far, get ready for...

Von Kaiser Week!

[As an aside: I had originally had the idea that I'd nickname a given training week after famous villains from film and literature. (Marathon Week was going to be Drago Week. It still might be. Stay tuned.) After a romantic dinner with my training buddy Timmy "I'll Smash Your Face" Petrov, though, I've decided to take it in another direction. Master of pattern recognition that he is, he suggested that the remaining training schedule roughly corresponds to the fight sequence from the old NES classic "Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!!" (I'm a sucker for superfluous exclamation points.) So we're going to work our way up the heavyweight ladder, hopefully beat the champ, and then fade into Bolivian.* I've decided to do this at the risk of alienating much of my audience, which probably just consists of my Mom. So be it.]
*Current running gimmick may change without notice.

Let's get reacquainted with the "German Steel Machine," shall we?


Check out that 'stache- that ain't legal. According to Wikipedia, which we all know is the most reliable source of information anywhere ever, ze Kaiser is a "militant German ring veteran." I don't know about you, but to me that makes him a Nazi. Villains don't get much more despicable than Nazis- just ask Jake and Elwood. So, this week, I'm not just running for St. Vincent's or for my own health and well-being, but also to combat intolerance and bigotry by knocking this chump out in the name of Polish sausage.

More about Keyser Soze later. For now, let's recap what will posthumously be known as "Glass Joe Piscopo Week":

Monday: Off
Tuesday: Lazy
Wednesday: 5.5 Miles
Thursday: 5.5 Miles
Friday: Off
Saturday: 7 miles (Full Central Park Circuit!)
Sunday: Off

Drinks consumed: 7 (5 on Saturday night/Sunday morning out, then a giant Pina Colada and a G&T at dinner Sunday)

Happily or unhappily, many if not all of you decided to be out of town this week, fortifying my normally weak will into rocklike stoicism. The real tests come this week, most notably at Little Buddy's birthday bash. Despite any asterisks, though, I can with a guiltless conscience score this one a victory for the good guys, even though Glass Joe tossed me to the canvas once during the long run (I think partially due to the post-thunderstorm humidicloud in which I chose to engage Central Park.) Never mind...

Von Kaiser Roll enters the ring to a Nintendization of an old Wagner favorite. So... Let's get this week rolling. Ride of the Valkyries, anyone?

Smells like... victory. Let's talk again this week, yes? Until then...